Hearts & Not Catching Feelings .

I'm sitting here, I was randomly thinking of my past relationships and thinking of the type of relationship I want. I was playing in my mind the reasons why me and some of my exes broke up and I must say some were dumb reasons. Years ago I would break up with someone after taking allot of bullshit from them. Few years later I broke up with people once I just wasn't feeling the relationship anymore, I can honestly say I wasn't nice about it. I would just "It's over don't ask no questions" and they'd be all hurt, which I can understand why. But at that time I didn't like hurting people and I didn't like explaining, because when they wanted you to explain somehow ya got back together and I didn't want that to happen. One thing I didn't like was when someone felt way more for me than I felt for them. That's when the breakup is the hardest. It was hard for me to really fall hard for someone after some of the exes I had. People say you shouldn't punish the next because of an ex, shit it's hard not to. My past relationships have made me into the person I am today when it comes to being with someone. I'm very sweet, but I'm a asshole. I once I see characteristics I don't like happening in the relationship I quickly end it. I feel like I save myself from dealing with a bullshit relationship. I feel like I saved myself from many arguments, fights, being angry, etc. I know that's probably stupid to some but it has helped me dodge a many relationships. Some say I'm picky, to be honest I just want to find someone that ain't about games and bullshit. I tell people early "I rather be replaced than cheated on", if you don't think it's gone work we can end it and you find someone you want to be with, Simple. I think if more people were upfront, less would get hurt. I have a wall up like most, since I put it up not many have knocked it down. I am a person that doesn't like to show weakness. My Righthand Millie always tells me "you think like a guy!". I just really pay attention to people, I make sure not to make the same mistakes, know game before it's spit. Just a free write, felt like sharing .

Saturday Night....

Soo, its Saturday I am laying here texting with Kay Kay, listenin to music, and bloggin on my Tumblr. I haven't done a little freewrite in a minute so guess what? It's about to go down! lol . This is a very boring weekend I must say!. Super mad I dyed my hair yesterday and you can't even tell! Hopefully when I flat iron it, it will show when i'm outside in sunlight or something I dont know. It's October 1st. yup Halloween is coming up, I think i'll be a vampire again lol whatev's, I won't have to dress up, just grab some fangs and blood and keep it moving. I might go to Frightfest. So i'm thinkin about getting a new camera of course. A T2i or T3, don't know yet. just been lookin up different canons. I need to get more lenses asap. On another note, I'm still thinking of changing up my style a little bit. Not many malls around here with cute plus size clothes that I can play around with. But I did find one boutique that I like called Isha Couture. I actually went in there I think thursday and there was some nice new things. I need some stuff I can buy and fix to my liking. I need to start using my sewing machine, I've had it for years and have only used it maybe twice. So I need to change that asap.